


Oh Cassie... I Never Loved You

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Demon Dean Being an Asshole, Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s10e03 Soul Survivor, Episode: s10e05 Fan Fiction, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Light Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, Men of Letters Bunker, POV Third Person, Season/Series 10, supernatural the musical
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24272188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Cas was left to give Dean the final doses to become human again, he learnt something, or more was told something. Something that he couldn't get out of his head, even after Dean's transition back to human. Something that he had to find out if it had any truth to it. He needed to know and we wouldn't let up until he knew.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, DeanCas, Destiel
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	1. It Wasn't a Lie or a Mind Trick

“Can you give him the next few doses, Cas?” Sam yawned, rubbing at his eyes from exhaustion. He wanted to stay and be there for when they finally got Dean back but everytime he closed his eyes they protested against being opened again and that really wouldn’t bode well for him when demon Dean would get angry. 

“Of course, you should rest. You deserve it.” Cas patted him on the back as Sam scoffed, nodding before making his way out of the bunkers basement and to bed. 

After a few minutes, though Cas hadn’t truly been looking at the time, Cas went and checked on Dean, unconscious and chained to the ground demon Dean.

Cas nodded, remembering the havoc he had caused the last time he was injected with the cure, somehow breaking loose and destroying the chair in the process. 

The angel was exhausted himself, his new grace wrecking havoc of its own within his vessel. Unsettled and timid, it caused Cas to slide down the wall of the room Dean was secured into and meet his elbows with his knees as he sat with them bent up around his chest. 

Cas had only felt few emotions and the one he felt at that time was something reasonably new. It had been building up for a while now and seeing Dean like that gripped the feeling from Cas’ chest and then shoved it back into him with more force and more pain. Though, before Cas could truly question it, Dean woke up. 

He struggled a little, laying on the floor with his shoulder’s to his chin and head held high for his current situation. Looking up to the angel and smirking that so un-Dean-like smirk. 

“Hey buddy.”

“Dean.” Cas replied with his hoarse voice. Dean mockingly replying with the same and chuckling at Cas’ lack of facial response. 

“You’ve only got a few more treatments then you’ll be okay.” He promised, hoping to have reached the part of Dean that was still in there, that wanted to be himself again. If it even existed anymore. 

“Who says I’m not now, Cassie-pie?” The demon smiled and flicked his eyes from emerald green to a dark and whirling pool of darkness. 

Cas cocked his head, “Do you truly believe that? That you’re better like this? You’ve killed people, Dean.”

“I killed people as a human too, you know. At least now I don’t have to feel guilty or all of those other pesky emotions. But wouldn’t know much about that now would you?” The demon mocked him again, this time with the fact that Cas knew what it was to kill and feel guilty but didn’t know what it was like to feel those ‘other pesky emotions’ as his demonic friend had called them. 

It was cruel.

Cas didn’t know how to reply so he didn’t. He didn’t like hearing the lack of forced and fake confidence and ‘okayness’, however unhealthy that was. This Dean, a truly confident and fully emotionless Dean… It wasn’t him. Not at all. 

“I was a monster back then too, Castiel. Just a different kind.”

That was the lie that demon Dean chose to spin in his final hours? That he was better than his human counterpart and that that Dean was the true monster? 

Cas chuckled lightly, “You were no such thing. You saved hundreds of people, killed and hunted monsters for the greater good.”

This time Dean was the one to chuckle, “You know my intentions for doing so weren’t pure. It was for vengeance.” Dean almost snorted in amusement, “You act like you know me, but you truly don’t. You might have gripped me tight and raised me from perdition but there are things even Sam doesn’t even about me, so why would you?” 

“You spend most hours of your days together, I highly doubt such things.” The utter disbelief spreading across Cas’ face. 

“Just because we lived and worked with each other, loved each other like family, doesn’t mean he knew all when it came to my life.” Dean spoke in past tense when talking, still laying on the cold floor of the newly found basement.

“You speak as though it’s over; your life.” Cas frowned because though it was true, it was still strange to hear. 

“Am I wrong to? I am dead after all, a human soul contorted into something unnatural and demonic. Something unloving and inhuman.” He definitely wasn’t wrong about that. 

“Don’t you want to feel loved again and love someone in return? Sam misses you, Dean. Don’t wouldn’t you want his love?” Cas was confused. Sure, Dean was in fact a demon and most demons are vial, uncaring creatures but Dean was human not too long ago. He had felt that brotherly love between him and his brother and yet, as a demon he dismissed it and wanted no further part in the matter. Why?

“Not really no. I died for Sam, Cas. Over and over because I loved him and I lost many people and the chance at a good, normal and happy life for the thing you call love. It’s not as sweet of a feeling as you have probably been taught to believe. Being an angel and all.” Dean rolled his eyes, thinking that Cas had been told that love was something pure and beautiful. Which was definitely the case but that love was only for that of his father, god. Castiel had never learnt of any love other than that, which he’d learnt from his now reasonably long years on earth that there were many different types of the word. 

There was that of which Dean and Sam felt for each other, brotherly love. Or Philia as the ancient Greeks had callen it. 

Then there was storge or paternal love which the Winchester’s hadn’t much practice in and neither did their angel friend and there were other ones, romantic, self-love and dutiful and playful romantic loves. The branches of types love spurting deep and far from each variable. 

Cas always wondered what type he had for Dean because he knew he one for Sam was more friendly and dutiful but for Dean, it had always been different. 

Something he couldn’t explain, or more so, something he chose not to. Not even bringing the thought of deciphering it to the light of day, or night for that matter. 

“We were taught only to love god, in all his great and ever-expanding light. I came to earth only with the understanding, or more so the belief that human love was something just as beautiful.”

“That’s why being a demon’s so great. I don’t have to have that stupid belief anymore either. I can’t be free of all the pain that came along with life- with love.”

“Not all love must hurt that way, must it? Surely you and-” Cas frowned again, it being one of the recurring facial movements he did during his time with this demonic version of dean. 

“You?” Dean laughed, sitting up as far as he could with the chains of his imprisonment still beckoning him to the floor. Wanting to be eye-level with his angel friend, as he finally got to the part he knew would hurt Cas. The part he’d been working up to just to watch as it tore at Cas’ heart. 

“Oh Cassie… I never loved you.”

He was a demon, he didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t truly feel that way… Did he?

Maybe being a demon only brought out the truths Dean had been hiding from himself and Cas.

Maybe, no definitely, he was just trying to get into Castiel’s head and mess with him.

Yes, that must have been it, Cas thought to himself as his eyes still stayed wide while Dean grinned after his reaction and future response.

Cas felt for Dean, more than a friend, he knew that much. He cared for and even loved him, though he didn’t know to what extent just yet, what spilled from Dean’s lips hurt, however much Cas was trying to play it off as a lie and a mind trick.


	2. Green Once More

By the time Cas was able to hold a steady breath to finally find something to say in response, the timer went off on the alarm clock, resting on one of the shelves by the door.

Cas then, hopped up, turning his back to Dean to turn the horrid sound off and letting his stern mask fall for a second. Showing the alarm clock the face he had tried to hide from Dean, the one that showed that everything that Cas had done for Dean was for nothing. 

“It’s time.” Cas gulped, picking at the syringe filled with blood and walking over to crouch down and aiming a clear shot at Dean’s veins. Having shoved the needle in with the least amount of force as he could, with Dean still trying to break free of his chains a second time. 

Dean’s breathing got heavy as he turned his head to the ceiling, trying to manage the pain and calm the ever agonizing feeling spreading through his body like a fire to the wilds.

Cas could see the veins in his friend’s neck throbbing with the blood, see the pain in Dean’s every move and the flutter of his eyes, go from green to black to green once more. 

Cas hated seeing his friend in such a state, even if his eyes were Castiel’s opposites. Cas just needed Dean back, his Dean. He needed to know if all he had done for Dean had been for nothing. That it wasn’t all just to save himself and Sam. That Cas wasn’t just a side character that got killed off in the sequel, something that Dean had taught and shown him about between their fights with what they both were now, angels and demons. 

Cas sat back down against the wall and kept his gaze on Dean who had fallen unconscious due to the blood's affect on his body. He couldn’t tell how long he’d sat there, all he knew was that he heard the birds chiming as though the sun had just come up. That was when Dean woke up again, but it seemed as though they didn’t need to inject Dean as many times as they thought they did. 

He looked sickly and almost human but not human enough, his eyes still flickering black when Cas had finally turned his head back towards Dean and stopped trying to avoid such things. 

They didn’t speak till the last dose, Dean’s unnerving smirks at Cas, being imprinted on Cas’ eyelids. Becoming something that would haunt him for however long he would manage to survive after befriending the Winchesters, even though he was supposed to be dead years beforehand. 

“Please, don’t do this, Cas! Please!” Dean pleaded when it was time for his last dose, “I can’t take- I can’t take it anymore. Please, Cas, I can’t- I can’t-” 

Cas dug the syringe into Dean’s arm, trying to look away without success. Dean screamed and wailed in pain, a scream that rivelled those he’d heard before rescuing him from hell. Tears falling from both of their faces, though neither one could see the other’s. 

Dean then strained, blinking violently without any sign of his demonic black eyes. He fainted and though it left Cas feeling guilty and in pain at the sight of Dean in pain, he was relieved. Almost happy.

After that the angel cupped Dean’s face in his hands, lowering his head to meet his friend’s now human eyes, “Dean?” 

“...Cas?” A soft and broken whisper fell from the human’s lips, as his eyes got wider, with Cas’ arms wrapping tightly around his chest, in a warm and calming hug. 

Once the angel pulled away he went to grab Sam, finding him in the kitchen drinking some sort of green, pulpy smoothie after what seemed like a very long one from the sweat on his skin. 

“Dean’s?” He frowned, getting up from his chair even before Cas had told him anything.

“He’s human.” Cas could see the same relief on his face as he had had himself, only minutes before. 

Sam almost sprinted down the hall and the stairs at that point, bursting with a long awaited sense of joy. 

“Sammy.” Dean gave his brother with an almost ghostly smile, happy to see his kin but still exhausted from his what? 10 hour ordeal. And that was only for this exact ordeal, not the entirety, of what had seemed like forever at that point, of being a demon.

Their hug went on for longer, Cas unchaining the shorter but older brother in the process. 

Cas had left them after that, not wanting to intrude while also having, well, other reasons to not want to talk to Dean. Though, he didn’t think Dean and Sam talked much when he left since Dean had gone to bed only half an hour later. 

“How’s he doing?” Cas asked, genuinely concerned. 

He knew that that Dean he’d hugged hadn’t been the same one that told him he felt nothing, not even platonic love towards him.

He knew it and yet the underlying truth remained. Dean had never really shown any affection towards him. Sure they’d shared a few hugs here and there, a few smiles but that all could be faked reasonably easy.

Cas was sure of that, especially with Dean’s job, lying to the authorities and all.

Demon Dean’s word had cut deeper than any angel blade, even the one he’d been impaled and nearly killed with when he was human. 

They had cut so deep that that wound could never truly heal, that was absolute. And though Dean was human again and Cas could indeed ask if he said was indeed the case, he never would. 

He wanted the answer and yet he so badly, so desperately didn’t. 

So instead, he’d just act as though nothing happened. And hope- pray that Dean didn’t remember or at least didn’t bring it up either. 

“He’s wrecked. But how could he not be, he’s gone through a lot.” Sam replied, watching Cas’ face recognize that they were having a conversation and pull out of the seemingly troubling thoughts, since Sam had seen Cas’ eyebrows furrow and eyes pierce at least one of the vails he was always going on about. 

“He has indeed… Sam, you realize we’ve only solved one problem, another - large one might I add - remains.” His eyebrows furrowing again in worry. 

“I don’t want to think about it right now, Cas. And I think Dean doesn’t want to either. I think we should just be able to enjoy having my brother back again.” He was right in a sense, neither one of them did seem to want to face that said problem at that time but it still didn’t take away from its danger. 

“But the mark it-” 

“Look, I told Dean I’d grab him some food before he gets some proper rest, okay? We won this one. Why can’t we soak in it for just a bit longer?”

Sam went to grab a pie and burger like Dean had asked and Cas went to go see him. To check up on the past Demon and recently human man he hopefully could still call a friend.

He feared that it’d be too awkward to function around Dean. That maybe though neither of them would talk about, the things Dean said would still impact their relationship.

“I’m not really up for a chat right now, man.” Dean said as Cas opened his mouth to speak, his hand on the door handle as he had just opened it.

“Alright. I just wanted to say that I’m leaving now.” Cas pushed his small and hopefully unnoticed pout into a half decent excuse for a small. 

“Leaving? Where to?” Straightening his back against the bed frame, turning down the volume on the tv. 

“Heaven.” Cas replied, it would be easier to avoid Dean from a different, non-earthly plain.

“I’m going to find out what’s happening up there. Just uh, I hope you feel better soon. Everything is reasonably quiet now so…” Cas cut his sentence short, not knowing where he was even going with such a boring and obvious statement.

“Will do. Thanks for umm… Turning me back into a human.” Dean smiled, his eyes creasing at the corners as Cas just stood there awkwardly before closing the door between them.


	3. Damn, Maybe They Did...

It was almost like Cas vanished completely after that. Well, expect for a few calls about cases and filling them in on what was happening though those didn’t really count. Those visits were for information and not at all recreational or even necessarily to be friendly, it seemed like just business. Nothing more and nothing less and Dean… Well, he knew why. 

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to remember any of his time as a demon but he did, and the thing he remembered the most, though he didn’t physically hurt anymore in said memory, he knew otherwise when it came to other matters.

He knew he hurt Cas, “I never loved you” and all that crap. He’d told Cas that he didn’t care for him at all and by god, did that betray Dean’s true feelings entirely. Dean loved Cas. Maybe more than he’d ever say. 

The conversation wouldn’t stop replaying in his head. And though hunting was taking his mind off of it… The musical did the opposite. Damn that stupid musical.

The music teacher had gone missing after rehearsals and the brothers went to follow it up of course, though it didn’t really seem like a case and when they read the title they knew it must have been something. 

“Supernatural the Musical” with singing and dancing, space and subtext. Stupid subtext. 

While they were investigating Dean came across the girls who played him and Cas in the musical and well, them hugging. Though, Cas and himself had indeed done it only a few weeks ago, it just felt wrong. 

“What is that?!” He cried, hoping the director would say something along the lines of, “oh that’s not in the play. They’re together in real-life.” And though she did, she just had to add a certain sentence or two after that.

“Though we do explore some destiel subtext in the second act.” Dean’s jaw dropped. 

Sure, Dean loved Cas but that could never be reciprocated, especially after what had happened between them. And anyway, he was never so obvious as to have Chuck write about it.

…

Then again, there were a lot of ‘They stared at each other’ type sentences in the Chucks books that might have suggested something. That was, if people were really to read that far into things. 

The girl also spoke about it a little during their investigation. Dean has asked about it, curious to see what she had seen in the books that he didn’t and naturally, it was when Sam was doing some sort of nerdy, research thing. 

“How could you not ship those two?!” She exclaimed after Dean told her he didn’t see it.

“Castiel saved Dean from hell and sure, he was ordered to do that but afterwards? Was he ordered to rebell for Dean, kill his own people to save him and better yet, eyefuck all the time and act like a literal married couple?”

Um, what. 

Dean and Cas never ‘eyefucked’ whatever the hell that even meant. They just looked at each other like normal human beings though it was true that Cas was anything but. 

And as for Cas rebelling, he didn’t do it for Dean. He did it because it was the right thing to do and he didn’t believe that his orders were actually from God, like he was told they were. 

What about a literal married couple? They did bicker a bit but would never go that far.

“Hmm…” Dean replied, still apprehensive.

“See? Cas loves Dean, Dean loves Cas. They love each other.”

Dean contemplated it further. Oh how he wished the books were still going, then maybe she’d be able to help him figure out what the hell to do without her knowing that she was helping the real Dean Winchester.

Cas didn’t love Dean, however much Dean felt for him. And even if he did, which was a slim, slim chance at that, Cas probably wouldn’t even know that he did. He was still so new to even the most basic of human emotions that love would be something that he’d probably ignore, thanks to Dean’s great role modelling. 

That whole case had just dug the nails in deeper. Cas could have possibly loved Dean back and what did Dean go and do - granted he was a demon at the time. He went and told Cas that he never loved him. Ever. 

After the case they went back to the motel they had rented and Dean tried to sleep. Tried to, being the key words in that sentence. The stress of what happened with Cas and what continues not to happen, which is literally any not awkward or work related encounter, as well as the mark and the other bad things he did as a demon continuously ate away at Dean. 

When he slept he had nightmares and when he didn’t he had thoughts. Thoughts that were sometimes happy, like him and Cas making up and maybe kissing but then turned sour when he realised that such things would never happen. 

Cas showed up a few days after the musical, when they were back at the bunker and on a bit of a break from hunting because of the mark. He claimed it was only to report in with news of heaven, which there wasn’t much of but there was more to it. 

He was going to talk to Dean. Properly and first the time in what seemed like, too long. 

“Cas…” Dean said cautiously as he sat with his legs crossed on his bed, waiting for Cas to join him at the foot of it. 

Man, how he had waited for them to finally talk. He wanted and waited so badly, they both did, that now that they were they didn’t really know what to say.

“Dean, I…” He trailed off, maybe it wasn’t the best time to ask, maybe there would never be a good time. Maybe he shouldn’t have even gone to the bunker. 

They stared at each other for a bit before either spoke.

Damn, maybe they did eyefuck.


	4. To Nod

“You wanted to come check me up on me?” Dean questioned, knowing that that really wasn’t the reason. Knowing the real reason and desperately wanting to talk about it too but at the same time dreading the thought. 

Dean tried to reason against it. Why’d they have to talk about it? Couldn’t Cas just leave it alone, realise that Dean didn’t feel like that and move on? It would just make things so much easier for him. So much easier for the both of them. 

“...Yeah. How are you going?” Cas asked, a little hurt by how much Dean was obviously trying to ignore him and the conversation Cas had meticulously planned out in his head. The conversation Dean seemed to care so little for.

Did Cas’ feelings really mean so little to his supposed best friend?

No, Cas cut through his own thoughts. Mentally angel-blading his ass for thinking so negatively. Negative thoughts were never the way to get things done. They never made anything better.

But it was just that… Well, Dean really just didn’t care, did he? He really just didn’t care about him.

“I’m doing good, considering. How’s heaven?” Dammit, Cas looked so hurt. Ugh, why couldn’t he just say it. 

Cas probably would have rebutted such a statement with a head tilt and an eye squint, ‘I told you at dinner…?’ They were, if it weren't for the overwhelmingly new and strong feeling he felt.

A feeling he’d been dreading to feel, hearing that it hurt ‘like a bitch’ from Dean what seems like millennia ago, though he was probably never rejected in his life. He was probably the rejecter. 

And Cas was going to be the rejected. 

“It's alright. I think I’ll just go now.” Cas looked down at the floor and felt tears pooling in his eyes. It was strange. Cas had only gotten to the hello and was already telling Dean he was leaving again, already consumed by feelings without even having gotten to explaining them.

This definitely wasn’t the conversation he was hoping for. 

“Cas, I-” Dean said, watching the angel preparing himself to walk out the door and probably not come from for an even longer amount of time. 

Maybe more time would lessen the things he felt.

Maybe Cas could just come back after a few months and be free of the cursed feelings that were pulling at his every action, free of the overwhelming sense that Dean didn’t want him. Didn't want Cas the way Cas wanted him or even… In general. 

Didn’t want him in the room, didn’t want him at the bunker. Just didn’t want him. 

“I’ve been planning what to say when I saw you again but my mind’s just gone blank. I just-. Don’t leave Cas… I don’t want you to.”

Maybe Dean didn’t want him to leave this time but he always asked him to eventually. Eventually something always came up, something more important, and he was either shipped off to heaven to see what was going on or kicked out, a helpless and first-time human thrown away on the whim of an untrustworthy angel. 

“Look.. Just sit down for a minute, okay?” Almost pleading while he said it, Dean patted at a spot on the mattress. Cas proceeding the sit, straight backed and oddly scared. 

“Cas, I didn’t mean what I said, you realise that right?” Man, this was hard. 

He wanted to nod. All the angel wanted to do was nod.

“I do… I do love you Cas.” Dean added, almost choking on his words.

Somehow Dean didn’t feel as relieved as he thought he would. And of course this wasn’t just to relieve the older Winchester of his guilt but that was partially the reason. The other reason, the belief that maybe, Dean would finally pick up the courage to tell him just how much he loved him… Well, if it was as hard and as awkward as it was telling Cas that he just loved him, he definitely wouldn’t be confessing the truth to him anytime soon. Or at all if possible.


	5. She Called It

Something flew through him, like butterflies in his stomach. Like all those not-so-nice feelings that had consumed him were cleaned from his body, leaving him with brand new feelings. Feelings that made him want to fly around the world just to come back to this one spot and stay here forever more. 

But it was a short lived feeling. A stupid feeling to have because it wasn’t reciprocated. 

It was honestly idiotic to have even the slightest sliver of hope for what Dean and Cas could become together but they were never going to be together. And that was just that. 

Until Dean leaned in. His cheeks were bright red and his own mind and being was racing the similar feelings when he saw how much Cas’ eyes glistening with his words. Though, he probably imagined it, like he sometimes thought he did, it didn’t matter. 

Nothing mattered if they couldn’t get the mark off of him so what was the point in trying. Hiding feelings that he might not get to feel anymore, for anyone. 

He cupped the angel’s face, his hands surprisingly soft against Cas’ peach fuzz and kissed him. He kissed an angel of the lord and honestly, he wished he could never stop because Cas kissed back. Eventually, but he did kiss back. Knocked a bit off balance from the sudden and totally unexpected action.

Cas then held his hands to Dean’s side and fell into the kiss, falling further in love with the man he thought he couldn’t love more. The both of them feeling a rush of emotions they never let themselves feel until now, feelings that Dean thought he wouldn’t ever feel again in a matter of weeks if not months. 

They kept the kiss as their cheeks turned the brightest red to have existed. And as they moved from the bed and onto one of the nearest walls. Dean gently pushing his angel into the wall, causing a small, but hopefully not noticeable from the other side of the wall, noise. 

“Dean,” came an even more unexpected action. Sam’s voice coming from just the other side of the wall. Dean hoping, praying that Sam didn’t hear anything, also praying that Cas would leave, because if he didn’t. Well, it wouldn’t be the best way to break it to Sam that he one; likes guys and two;likes cas. 

And lucky Cas received such prayers, giving Dean a quick and understanding look as he vanished from the air. 

Dean then told his brother to come in after taking the necessary precautions. 

“Really, Dean? You’ve been back a few weeks and you're already back into that habit.” Sm said, opening the door to his brother red faced and hiding his laptop screen. 

Thank god. 

“Hey man, don’t bag me for it, it’s natural.” Dean chuckled as naturally as he could as Sam just groaned and held his eyes up to his forehead, “I found a case if you wanna get decent and check it out with me.”

Dean just smiled, as though something that’d he wished to happen for however long that he could now care to admit - to the right person of course, which was Cas - had happened. 

It was almost too good to be true though that girl from the musical had called it.

Props to her.

“I’ll be out in a second.” Sam shut the door on his obviously still flustered older brother.


	6. It Can't Be Fixed

“So what’s this case you got?” Dean asked, wiped his face with the tip of his shirt. Having splashed some cold water on it for long enough for him to stop feeling like his heart was going to implode on itself. 

“It’s a vampire nest in Vancouver.” The two sat down at the library table. Dean tuning out about a second in too try and come to terms, since they were such, well, terms with everything that had happened in the what? 

The most amazing 15 minutes of his life. 

“So where’s Cas?” Sam asked, the angel's name calling Dean’s attention back to Sam though he probably should have been listening to him in the first place since he was explaining the case they were probably going to take for the next few days. 

How should I reply? What would seem natural? He thought to himself. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know. Not as if the guy lives in-’ Wait. 

“In your ass?” Sam replied, knowing this saying for what was probably the most hilarious thing ever. Though no one except Sam had found it funny. 

He even looked to the side of Dean to see if Cas had popped up and doing so as dramatically and obviously as he could. Trying to annoy or amuse Dean, depending on whatever mood Dean was in but not really care which one since either one would still be fun to see. 

Dean looked at him, eyes squinted in disgust and walked out of the room. “Coffee” he replied after Sam confusingly looked at him, wondering why he left without the two basic comebacks he threw at Sam whenever this scenario had planned out before. “Shuddup Sam.” He’d say either chuckling or frowning at his younger brother. 

They went to the kitchen and Dean brewed them both a coffee. Cas poofing into view as Dean was taking the first sip of his freshly brewed coffee. Almost choking when Cas popped into view. 

He cleared his throat afterward though, “Hot coffee,” he ‘explained.’

“Hey Cas, what’s up?” Sam asked him after patting Dean on the back in support of his little coughing sesh. Both brother’s looking after Cas’ reply. 

Dean scared for the truth and Sam just wondering why Dean and Cas were acting so weird. 

“The mark.” Cas looked at Dean cautiously.

“What about it?” Dean replied hoarsely after calming himself down and trying desperately not to be obvious in his uncomfortableness. 

“I know, you’ve been hunting with it but I think it’s time we start figuring out a way to get rid of it. You might have survived so far without anything happening but we can’t be sure that that won’t change for the worse again.” 

The brother’s sighed knowing that this speech was coming sooner or later. 

“Dean hadn’t been showing any signs lately but you’re not wrong.” Sam turned to face Dean, “We should start looking for a way to fix this.”

“We’ve already tried fixing it Sam and it can’t be fixed.” Dean looked guiltier than ever, sad to have to be the one to say it but knowing it needed to be said. 

I mean, it wasn’t like they could fix him. No one could help Cain, not even the love of his life, and what did that mean for Dean?

It meant that he was going to lose everyone eventually, even himself and honestly. 

It was scaring and horrifying but if that’s what was going to happen then that’s what was going to happen. No one could stop it. They couldn’t stop him. 

“What are you saying, Dean?” Cas asked, the terror and slight rage of what Dean had meant, sitting just behind his eyes, ready to burn holes in Dean just for suggesting such things. 

“I’m saying let's just do what we usually do and before I hurt anyone... Lock me up.”


End file.
